


Is Enlightening

by Ieatmyfeelings



Series: Living With Tony Stark [2]
Category: Avengers, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: M/M, time period homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-26
Updated: 2014-02-26
Packaged: 2018-01-13 19:50:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1238764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ieatmyfeelings/pseuds/Ieatmyfeelings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Movies, conversations, dreams, memories, and enlightenments.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Is Enlightening

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! Um this chapter has some words to describe LGBT people that aren't very pretty. It is because of the time period some of these memories are based in. I mean no disrespect and I have very strong pride being a member of the LGBT community myself. Please do not take those words wrongly.

            Steve was right, living in Stark Tower wasn’t boring, and there was always something new to see or do. And once Tony and Pepper decided to move to New York from Malibu, to focus on the renovations to the tower, there was always some thing going on. Pepper taught Steve the ins and outs of using the new Stark Phone and Tony was determined to educate Steve on all the cinematic masterpieces he missed. But thank God for Jarvis! Steve went to Jarvis when he had questions he didn’t want to ask Tony or Pepper, like how to use the microwave, and how the little plastic rectangle Tony gave him was suppose to pay for things. All in all in the last two months since the Chitauri attack life has been good Steve decides and pours melted butter and salt over the freshly popped popcorn (and he’d be darned if the air popper wasn’t the best thing about the twenty-first century) before he walks back into the living room where Tony and Pepper are waiting for him. Steve plops down in “his” armchair with a content sigh before handing the popcorn over to Pepper who was sitting on the couch next to him. Movie night had quickly become a routine, what with Tony trying to cram seventy years of hit movies into two months, and Pepper decided early on that she was going to join in on the fun. “So what movie are we watching tonight?” he asked as he reached over for more popcorn.

            “Well” Pepper started shooting Steve an uncertain glance “Tony was thinking we should use movies to introduce you to some social issues” she says pausing giving Steve a chance to speak up “So we were thinking of watching Brokeback Mountain” she finishes, waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

            Steve gives Peeper, and a strangely silent, Tony a confused glance before taking a sip of his coke and saying “Uh sure, sounds like a good way to catch me up. Just point out any inaccuracies for me. So what this movie about?” Steve asks slightly nervous at the rare look of uncertainty on Peppers face. 

            “Oh you know, two gay cowboys going bareback in a tent” Tony snarks out taking a long drink from the tumbler of scotch in his hand never quite meeting Steve’s gaze. 

            “Tony!” Pepper exclaims in frustration shooting a very pale Steve a worried look. 

            Tony glares back “Well it is! If we want to get good ol’ Capsicle here educated on todays issues we can’t pussy foot around it! Look Cap I know the views on homosexuality from when you grew up, believe me I know. When I told my old man that I’m bisexual he nearly had an aneurism. That is why we need to bring you up to speed with this whole situation. Especially before the Avengers are needed again since I’m not the only one batting for the other team here,” Tony says so fast that Steve can barely understand what he is saying.

            Steve remains quiet while his shocked brain slowly processes all he has just heard and the implication of it, Tony likes men, but he’s dating Pepper so he must also like women too, maybe that’s what bisexual meant. And Tony isn’t the only Avenger who likes the same sex.

            Obviously Steve had remained quiet for too long because Pepper cleared her throat before she spoke up “Steve we aren’t asking you to agree with this, just to understand what is and isn’t socially acceptable about this. Can you do that? For the team?” she enquired with a slight pleading note in her voice. 

            Steve nodded swallowing down the lump in his throat “I think so, I mean…I knew guys in the army who…But it was risky back then…If they got caught they’d have been lucky to be court marshaled, lots of guys got beaten, some times to death…But I never cared what people did between the sheets or who they did it with, it was never any of my business” Steve rambled his face as red as a ripe tomato as he tried to press down thoughts and memories that he had thought he had suppressed years ago. “So how about that movie?” Steve asks plastering on, what he calls, his USO smile before reaching for another handful of popcorn thinking about how this was going to be the longest two hours of his life.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

            Steve moaned and opened his eyes looking down at the dark haired man spread out beneath him as he franticly thrust into him repeatedly. Jack Twist was beautiful he had smoldering dark eyes and these high sharp cheekbones that Steve just had to lean in and kiss, but when he pulled away the man arching into him as he moaned wasn’t Jack Twist any more; instead of a smooth hairless face there was laugh lines around the eyes and a scratchy goatee on his chin. Steve runs his hands down the mans chest, never losing his rhythmic thrusting, basking in the cool blue glow that radiates from the mans breastbone. With on final hard thrust Steve tumbles over the edge a familiar name on his lips.

            Steve wakes up sweaty and panting, “For crying out loud!” Steve groans in frustration as he becomes aware of the wetness in his boxer shorts. “Like a darn teenager!” he grumbles as he turns towards the alarm clock on his bedside table 3:00am, he’d only been sleeping for three hours. Shaking his head Steve gets out of bed and calls out “ Jarvis can you turn on the lights and the shower please” he asks as he shucks his boxers before throwing them into the hamper. 

            “Of course Captain” Jarvis says politely as the lights come on and Steve hears the shower start running. 

“Thank you Jarvis” Steve says quietly as he walks into the bathroom opening the shower door and stepping underneath the scorching spray. Steve lets the hot water wash away all the tension and his mind wanders back to the events of that night. Once the movie ended Pepper and Tony had given him a brief overview of where gay rights were at now and some of the terminology that was acceptable and told him which words weren’t, fag was one of them. Steve had always hated that word, beings the small sick guy Steve had endured his fair share of name calling and that name had been thrown his way a lot.

            Steve thinks back to the first time he had been called a faggot, he was 12 and had mouthed off to a bully, again, who had ended up hissing insults at Steve as he repeatedly kicked him in the side. By the time Bucky found him and chased the bully off Steve had been bloody and embarrassed. Bucky had brought him back to their room at the orphanage and helped him clean up. Only after Steve was resting on his bed, as comfortably as was possible, did Steve voice the question that had been in his mind since the beating “Bucky what’s a faggot?” he asked. 

            “Where did you hear that word?” Bucky demanded, his face going from shock to anger “Did that jerk call you that?!”

            Steve sighed knowing it was bad if Bucky was that mad “What does it mean Bucky?” Steve asked again 

            Bucky frowned but answered Steve this time “A faggot or fag is a horrible word for a gay person. You know what that is right?” Bucky asked, Steve nodded seriously, they both knew what happened to a person when others thought that person was gay.

            Steve sighs as the water in the shower starts to grow cold and quickly turns the water off before stepping out of the shower and grabbing a towel from the rack and wrapping it around his waste before walking back into his room. Steve looked over to his alarm clock and saw that it was now 3:45am, deciding it was too late to go back to sleep he dresses and heads down to the 20th floor to use the gym. Steve hands a punching bag and takes his stance, he throws a couple dozen punches before he loses himself in another memory he had tried to suppress. 

            Steve had been 17 and so humiliated when Bucky had opened the door to their bedroom at the orphanage! Not only had Steve’s best friend caught him with his tongue down some ones throat, but that some one was another guy! The other guy, Nick a guy who worked at the butchers down the street, had ran out of that room as fast as possible and Steve had never seen him again. Once the door closed Steve looked over to Bucky ready for the harsh words that were sure to come for being a…being…one of them. 

            Bucky just walked slowly over to Steve, like approaching a wild scared animal, “It’s ok Steve” he whispered “I already knew, I’ve known for a while” Bucky assured him with a small smile. “I’m ok with it Steve, but you need to be more careful, if it hadn’t been me who walked into the room…” Bucky trailed off.

            That had been the last time Steve acted on his urges to be another man, after that Bucky had started setting him up with the friends of the dames he was stepping out with, Steve was never sure if it was as a cover or if Bucky thought he’d end up liking the girls. Over time Steve began to push those feelings down and once he met Peggy, the first girl to like him as a scrawny asthmatic, it was easer to forget how the feeling of someone else’s five o-clock shadow against his cheek made him feel, until tonight.

            Seeing that movie, the conversation afterwards, and then the dream had brought back all the thoughts and feelings he’d been forcing himself to forget. Steve leans his head against the punching bag he hadn’t even realized he’d stopped punching, and for the first time in his life he said the two little words he’d known to be true since he’d hit puberty “I’m gay”. Yes living with Tony Stark was definitely enlightening.


End file.
